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Do you guys ever feel like punching someone? Like seriously knocking them out to beat some sense into them? Well I get that feeling often, I wish that I could go back in time and beat the shit outa myself for so many things that I do/have done. God… its like I’ll do something then the next minute I’ll be regretting it and feeling like shit. I guess thats where all the insecurity I have comes from. I hate making mistakes and I hate remembering my mistakes. Everyone else seems to blow off mistakes easily, I don’t feel right doing so. Haha I guess its cuz I grew up with the principle of being punished for every small mistake and always having my mistakes instantly pointed out so I could be punished. But now that I am in college… it’s just different. No one points them out anymore. But I always feel the need to somehow redeem myself to the invisible eyes of the world. Odd isn’t it? Like I would think about it and know its stupid, but when the time comes its been too built into my character to change I guess and so I immediately turn to self-revulsion. Eh oh well. ok time to go back to studying.

One Reply to “”

  1. I know what you mean, but I guess that’s something that I’ve been able to get over. I kind of had this epiphany a while ago… you will never EVER know what other people are ACTUALLY thinking. So when you feel bad about something, or insecure, it is YOU who is making you feel that way. It doesn’t matter what other people do or say, you can’t really know what they are thinking, you only know what you are thinking. That means you have sole power of control over yourself. You make you feel how you feel all the time. Does that make sense? So if you feel uncomfortable about something, you can change it, but don’t ever think that someone else is making you feel bad, they simply do not have that power… well, they do, but only if you LET them. Who cares what other people think? Who cares if you’ve made a mistake? Life goes on and there’s too much fun and happiness out there to mess up by feeling bad.

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