Happy birthday ourfriendlyneighbor…
My stomach aches after breakfast, but it’s okay.
My ass hurts from the diarrhea, but it’s okay.
My right hand hurts from wiping all of the diarrhea from my ass, but it’s okay.
Because I had diarrhea in the morning, it means that I can’t get diarrhea again. You can only get diarrhea once a day. Any more and that means you’re dying.