Hi There!

Ok, this is the first blog I have ever written in my entire life… that’s right. The proverbial cherry has just been popped and I am no longer a blog virgin. How does it feel to witness this brand new beginning in another human being? I suppose that those who are reading this right now read lots of blogs on a regular basis and this is nothing new considering I’m probably not saying anything right now that would pop up on Google’s top ten list for any initial search. Or am I?


There. Maybe that will get me a few more (if not disappointed) readers. 🙂

Maybe I should write a little bit about myself and kind of break the ice. My name is… hmmm better check with the boss before writing my name. For now, I am Brown Eyed Girl. I’m a 20 year old college student at UC Davis. I’m majoring in Animal Biology and all of the Chemistry required for the major may very well be the main cause of my demise. I have two moms, one little sister, one boyfriend, one cat, four baby fish, one car, one computer, one bike, and about fifty different shades of eye shadow, only three of which I wear on a very irregular basis. I’m interning at a thoroughbred horse breeding farm and am getting kind of sick of it by now. I just went camping today and yesterday and caught about a foot long rainbow trout. I swear, the first cast I sent in I caught that fish, then I had all kinds of trouble cutting the string and letting it go and for the next three hours I didn’t even get a nibble. But I got a couple of pictures on a disposable which I’ll develop… eventually.

Tan the Man just told me that I should divide my paragraphs with additional spaces because that’s the standard blog format. 🙂 He’s a little bit anal. And a little bit obsessive compulsive… I don’t think I’m going to add those spaces because I’m feeling a teeny bit rebellious right now. What do you think? Does it bother you? This format? Tan the Man will probably come in and edit my blogs and add spaces… this being dorksandlosers, I do feel a little bit justified in saying that Tan the Man, you are a dork if you fix my improperly formatted blog and a loser for not doing something more productive with your time… like finding a girlfriend!

Tan the Man just informed me that there is a spell check option for me to use as well. 🙂

I’m going to be living with Tan the Man and rlyconfused next month and I’m really excited! 🙂 I’ll also be living with my boyfriend and our friend Will. We got the most amazing townhouse. OH MY GOD it is truly amazing. Especially since my living conditions right now are awful. I’m living in a two bedroom apartment with my boyfriend and our evil, bitchy, petty roommate Satan. I don’t really want to use her real name so I’ll just refer to her as Satan. Satan used to be one of my best friends at college but then she found this guy and had all of these issues and decided he was the most important thing and blah blah blah blah. I do hate her now, but it’s not because she stopped being my friend by not hanging out with me or talking to me (she did do those things), I hate her because of the way she treats me now. She blames me for losing touch with the group (basically, the guys I’m living with next month), she treats me very poorly with not even the respect one would show a roommate, and she called me fat out of the blue during a perfectly reasonable arguement. Then I called her a dirty whore and we haven’t spoken more than three words since. I’m ok with that, it’s just that being around her is so poisoning. The anger I feel toward her is so consuming and I’m trying so hard to let it go, it’s just… so hard! Have you ever had that happen to you? I want to know and I want to know how or if you ever got over it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my distaste for Satan, I do think that I’ll stop feeling that all consuming anger though.

That’s it for now… Tan the Man needs the computer I’m using. You know, this feels pretty good. I like getting out my issues and it even feels better knowing that someone will read it and maybe even comment. It feels better than sticking it on a peice of paper that will eventually be thrown away and never read or used or learned from. Yup. This feels good.

3 Replies to “Hi There!”

  1. Oh Tan the Man, you did space it out. Did you fix other stuff? I’m too lazy to check. And did you read it or what? I want to know how other people deal with all consuming anger…

  2. i totally hear ya on the anger angle Miz Brown.

    my most recent case: my friend (for 10 years) owes me $360. my ire over this is not because of the money, but the way she has handled the matter, or rather, NOT handled the matter. part of the $360 was a loan because she’d had a bad run of luck. a large chunk of it though was money i’d given her to transact an art purchase.

    on friday, april 15 (yes, the following is 4ever etched in my brain) she calls me & says that she’ll be ‘picking it up monday when she gets paid’. i think about this for a moment and then ask her ‘is this your way of telling me that you’ve borrowed more money without asking?’ she says ‘well, i needed it’. i said ‘well, ok, i guess i’ll talk to you monday then eh?’ and off we went, me fuming inside and her thinking (probably) what a great doormat i am. so here it is july 8 and i have yet to hear back from her.

    when i didn’t hear from her that monday, or the ensuing couple of weeks, the event was on my mind daily. as time continued to pass, i ran the gamut of emotions: bitter, angry, betrayed, hateful, sad, vengeous, indifferent. now i don’t think about it so often but every odd occasion it pops into mind and i get really pissed. how could she do this and why? i don’t know and with each new day i just don’t care. i’m refusing to call her as i’ve decided that our friendship means nothing to her and that is not the sort of person i want in my life so c’est la vie bebe.

    my advice: don’t let it fester & don’t waste the negative energy on someone who has no respect for you. kick it to the curb baby! besides, karma-wise they’ll get theirs in the end. leave it to the universe to handle.

    ps: i love reading your posts, y’all are a scream! keep it up (please). and thanks for letting me get out my angst too, it does feel good. which, i s’pose is why i posted a poem about her ;P

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