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“General Motors has announced that it will be removing its ‘GM Mark of Excellence’ logo from all GM cars. Of course, the GM Mark of Excellence logo doesn’t usually have to be removed because after 50 miles it just falls off.” — Conan O’Brien on General Motors’ logo

“This week, the Toyota Corolla became the most traded-in car as part of the Cash for Clunkers program. After hearing this, the CEO of General Motors said, ‘Don’t tell me Toyota makes even a better clunker than we do.’” — Conan O’Brien on Cash for Clunkers

“Good news for the auto industry — according to a new report, Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers.” — Conan O’Brien on Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler on customer complaints

“President Obama was ripped by animal rights activists for killing a fly during a TV interview. It was grim. He slapped it barehanded and it fell dead to the Oval Office carpet, where it lies next to the president of GM and three Inspector Generals.” — Argus Hamilton on Barack Obama killing a fly

“The Shuttle Atlantis blasted off Monday at Cape Canaveral. The Astronauts were told to disregard the engine warning light that came on after launch. It’s not clear at this point if the government took over GM or if GM took over the government.” — Argus Hamilton on the Space Shuttle Atlantis