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“Everyone’s talking about the military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy. Adm. Mike Mullen said it’s wrong to force people ‘to lie about who they are’ in order to serve their country. Then Congress was like, ‘Who cares? We do that every election.’” — Jimmy Fallon on ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’

“The president says he wants to do away with ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the military. This is not to be confused with George Bush’s ‘Don’t know, don’t care’ policy.” — David Letterman on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”