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“Congratulations to Bill Clinton for going to North Korea and freeing the two journalists. To be fair, it wasn’t that hard for Bill… he’s used to sneaking women out of government buildings.” — Craig Ferguson on Bill Clinton freeing journalists from North Korea

“Ken Starr argued on behalf of Proposition 8 banning gay marriage to the California Supreme Court on Thursday. He already got Bill Clinton impeached for heterosexual sex. It would appear he’s against forms of fornication except for legal fees.” — Argus Hamilton Ken Starr and California’s Proposition 8

“Bill Clinton was on The View [this week]. It was a frustrating appearance for Clinton — it turns out the pretty one is a conservative.” — Jay Leno on Bill Clinton’s recent appearance on The View

“Bill Clinton said Wednesday he’ll campaign for Barack Obama in the South after the Jewish holidays. Is he kidding? It’s been so long since Bill Clinton lived in the South he has forgotten that the only religion that matters is college football.” — Argus Hamilton on Bill Clinton campaigning for Barack Obama

“Hotels in Washington, D.C., are overbooked. A lot of VIPs have no place to stay. Things are so bad, Bill and Hillary Clinton have to share a room.” — Craig Ferguson on Bill and Hillary Clinton at Barack Obama’s inauguration