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President Barack Obama pwns Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in this imaginative strip…

“The president says he wants to do away with ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the military. This is not to be confused with George Bush’s ‘Don’t know, don’t care’ policy.” — David Letterman on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

“President Obama made his health care address to Congress. It went pretty well, except for one weird part in the middle when a congressman from South Carolina suddenly yelled out, ‘You lie!” It’s amazing — this guy was able to sit through seven years of PResident Bush telling him everything in Iraq was fine.” — Jimmy Kimmel on Barack Obama and Joe Wilson

“This is Obama’s 12th appearance on the cover of Time magazine. This beats President Bush’s record of 11 appearances on the cover of MAD magazine.” — Conan O’Brien on Time magazine’s favorite cover boy Barack Obama

“Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle threw a perfect game and afterward, he had a five-minute phone conversation with President Obama. Meanwhile, the losing pitcher got a two-hour phone call from Joe Biden.” — Conan O’Brien on Mark Buehrle’s perfect game