Dorks And Losers » Sports

Jay Leno On The United Nations Appointing Iran To The Women’s Rights Panel

Tan The Man — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 06:49:55 +0000

“The United Nations has appointed Iran to sit on the Women’s Rights panel. Also on the panel: Ben Roethlisberger, Chris Brown, Phil Spector, Robert Blake, and chairman, O.J. Simpson.” — Jay Leno on the United Nations appointing Iran to the Women’s Rights Panel

Jerry Crasnick On Minnesota Twins’ Starting Pitcher Kevin Slowey

Tan The Man — Tue, 18 May 2010 17:08:08 +0000

“He’s so precise with his repertoire, pitching coach Rick Anderson occasionally has to remind him to throw a ball above the letters just to give hitters a different look. Think Mets pitching coach Dan Warthen ever does that with Oliver Perez?” — Jerry Crasnick on Minnesota Twins’ starting pitcher Kevin Slowey

Mindy McCready On Roger Clemens Being Good In Bed

Tan The Man — Sun, 02 May 2010 18:28:52 +0000

“When he could get it up.” — Mindy McCready on Roger Clemens being good in bed

Jimmy Kimmel On The Biathlon At The Winter Olympics

Tan The Man — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:10:15 +0000

“The Winter Olympics are under way in Canada. They showed the biathlon, a combination of cross-country skiing and shooting rifles, which is known to Sarah Palin as commuting.” — Jimmy Kimmel on the biathlon at the Winter Olympics

David Letterman On The New Orleans Saints Winning The Super Bowl

Tan The Man — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:21:09 +0000

“The New Orleans Saints fans have waited a long time for their team to get into the Super Bowl. Not as long as they waited for FEMA, but a long time.” — David Letterman on the New Orleans Saints winning the Super Bowl

Super Bowl XLIV | Indianapolis Colts Vs. New Orleans Saints

Tan The Man — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 08:36:47 +0000

Super Bowl XLIV | Indianapolis Colts Vs. New Orleans Saints

Who will win the Vince Lombardi Trophy?

Tan The Man’s prediction:

Peyton Manning will also be named Super Bowl MVP.

UPDATE: Yeah, I was wrong.

[photo via NFL]

Monta Ellis Shoots From Behind The Backboard

Tan The Man — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 08:18:48 +0000

Golden State Warriors guard Monta Ellis hits a jumper from behind the backboard. And yes, it’s harder than it looks.

Jay Leno On Tiger Woods And The Bailout

Tan The Man — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 06:53:22 +0000

“According to MSNBC, Tiger Woods paid some of his mistresses between $5,000 and $20,000 a month to keep quiet about his affairs. That’s the second bailout plan this year that didn’t work.” — Jay Leno on Tiger Woods and the Bailout

Andy Roddick Says “Fuck” And “Bullshit” At The Australian Open

Tan The Man — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 01:19:39 +0000

Andy Roddick says “Fuck” and “Bullshit” at the Australian Open.

I’m more inclined to think the point should have been replayed since it was both match point and it wasn’t so obvious that the ball would have been a clean winner. Credit Thomaz Bellucci for not being a jerk about it, either.

Conan O’Brien On Tiger Woods And Tag Heuer

Tan The Man — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 07:37:22 +0000

“Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer is re-evaluating its endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. Which is ironic, because in order to schedule a career, a wife, and 14 mistresses, you need a really good watch.” — Conan O’Brien on Tiger Woods and Tag Heuer