“The government of China guaranteed that the Beijing Olympics will be safe. They know the Olympics will be safe because they’ve already written the next three weeks of news stories.” — Conan O’Brien on China’s assurances of a safe 2008 Summer Olympics

Popularity: 4% [?]

“The Olympics are right around the corner. China has announced that protesters will be allowed to assemble in designated ‘protest areas.’ Or as they’re commonly called in China, jail.” — Conan O’Brien on China’s tough police stance at the 2008 Summer Olympics

Popularity: 4% [?]

“China announced that during the Olympics, it will ban restaurants from serving dog meat. Which brings new meaning to the phrase, ‘Hello, Kitty.’” — Conan O’Brien on China banning serving dog meat during the 2008 Summer Olympics

Popularity: 4% [?]

“Mr. Romney likes to claim that his views on topics such as gay rights and abortion have ‘evolved.’ But they have evolved in a direction that is strikingly convenient — perhaps through intelligent design.” — “The Case For John McCain” in the December 8th-14th, 2007 issue of The Economist.

Popularity: 5% [?]

“Hot today. So hot, that today is New York City Jamba Juice is $140 a barrel.” — David Letterman on New York City’s recent heat wave

Popularity: 4% [?]