“The Winter Olympics are under way in Canada. They showed the biathlon, a combination of cross-country skiing and shooting rifles, which is known to Sarah Palin as commuting.” — Jimmy Kimmel on the biathlon at the Winter Olympics

“The head of Toyota had to appear before Congress to be yelled at. It was actually refreshing to see a car company CEO appear before Congress and not ask for $10 billion.” — Jimmy Kimmel on Toyota before Congress

“Here is something pretty unbelievable. The only living World War I veteran, a man named Frank Buckles, just turned 109 years old. What’s even more amazing, he just finished his fourth tour in Afghanistan.” — Jay Leno on Frank Buckles

“The New Orleans Saints fans have waited a long time for their team to get into the Super Bowl. Not as long as they waited for FEMA, but a long time.” — David Letterman on the New Orleans Saints winning the Super Bowl

“Everyone’s talking about the military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy. Adm. Mike Mullen said it’s wrong to force people ‘to lie about who they are’ in order to serve their country. Then Congress was like, ‘Who cares? We do that every election.’” — Jimmy Fallon on ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’