“In a new interview, BP’s CEO Tony Hayward said the Gulf oil spill is ‘relatively tiny’ compared to the ‘very big ocean.’ That’s like telling someone who’s just been shot not to worry about the bullet, because they’re really, really fat.” — Jimmy Fallon on BP CEO Tony Hayward
Category Archives: Asides
Jimmy Kimmel On Viagra For Women
“The FDA may be on the verge of approving Viagra for women. They say the chemicals in it may reduce the incidence of fake headaches before bed.” — Jimmy Kimmel on Viagra for women
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal On The BP Oil Spill
“BP is the responsible party, but we need the federal government to make sure that they are held accountable and that they are indeed responsible.” — Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on the BP Oil Spill
Jay Leno On The Vatican And Sexual Abuse
“The Vatican is updating its policy on sexual abuse. They are now against it.” — Jay Leno on the Vatican and sexual abuse
Jerry Crasnick On Minnesota Twins’ Starting Pitcher Kevin Slowey
“He’s so precise with his repertoire, pitching coach Rick Anderson occasionally has to remind him to throw a ball above the letters just to give hitters a different look. Think Mets pitching coach Dan Warthen ever does that with Oliver Perez?” — Jerry Crasnick on Minnesota Twins’ starting pitcher Kevin Slowey
David Letterman On The BP Oil Spill
“The bad news is that there’s going to be a huge environmental disaster from the oil leak in the gulf. The good news is, they think the oil spill will be diluted by the melt ice caps.” — David Letterman on the BP oil spill
David Letterman On Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull Volcano
“The name of the volcano in Iceland is Eyjafjallajokull. It’s the scariest thing out of Iceland since Bjork in that swan outfit.” — David Letterman on Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull volcano