“Wyclef Jean has announced that he will run for president of Haiti. He said he hopes the Haitian people will look past the fact that he has very little political experience and forgive him for that horrible remake of ‘We Are The World.’” — Jimmy Kimmel on Wyclef Jean running for president of Haiti
Category Archives: Asides
Craig Ferguson On Oregon Health Officials Shutting Down A 7-Year-Old Girl’s Lemonade Stand
“Health officials in Oregon have shut down a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand because she didn’t have a license. Officials haven’t issued a statement yet. They’re busy popping ballon animals and stomping on sand castles.” — Craig Ferguson on Oregon Health Officials shutting down a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand
Jimmy Fallon On Houston’s Newest Set Of Quintuplets
“A woman in Houston just gave birth to a healthy set of quintuplets. The mom says she’s excited about her babies, and can’t wait to watch them grow up on whatever channel gives them a reality show.” — Jimmy Fallon on Houston’s newest set of quintuplets
Jimmy Fallon On Potential Mineral Mining In Afghanistan
“In Afghanistan, the U.S. has discovered large deposits of iron, copper, cobalt, gold, and lithium. Or as most people would call it, ‘Not Osama bin Laden.’” — Jimmy Fallon on potential mineral mining in Afghanistan
Jimmy Fallon On The New Skinny Dipping Record
“The American Association Of Nude Recreation tried to break the record for the most people skinny dipping at once. In other news, the oil spill is now the second-most disgusting ocean disaster of all time.” — Jimmy Fallon on the new skinny dipping record
Craig Ferguson On The Potential Presidential Power To Shut Off The Internet
“There’s a new bill in the Senate that would give the president the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it, not because he invented the Internet, but because he just signed up for Match.com.” — Craig Ferguson on the potential presidential power to shut off the Internet
Jay Leno On Chelsea Clinton’s Wedding
“The countdown is now under way for what a lot of people are calling, the wedding of the year — on July 31 Chelsea Clinton is getting married. Bill and Hillary are thrilled; they say they don’t care who the groom is as long as it’s not Levi Johnston.” — Jay Leno on Chelsea Clinton’s wedding