You are browsing the archives of 2008 October.

“Experts say that since Sarah Palin became the vice presidential nominee, there’s been a spike in the sale of her style eyeglasses. With Palin’s glasses you can see everything — except what the hell your teenage daughter’s up to.” — Conan O’Brien on Sarah Palin’s eyeglasses

“The stock market crashed again [Wednesday]. This has been one of the worst financial weeks in American history. I was lucky — two weeks ago, I took all my money out of Lehman Brothers and invested it into the Jonas Brothers.” — Jimmy Kimmel on the economy

Matt Duke arrived on the music scene a couple years too late. The debut album for this New Jersey boy hadn’t yet been released when Zach Braff made Garden State, an ode to his home state.

“The stock market crashed yesterday. Once again, I don’t think President Bush gets it. When asked if customers should be concerned about all these bank closings, he said it doesn’t matter — if the bank is closed, just use the ATM.” — Jay Leno on George W. Bush and the economy

“Government figures released by President Bush show we are not in a recession. Unless, of course, you have to buy gas or food or some other luxury item.” — Jay Leno on George W. Bush’s figures showing no recession